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buzzfeed:

You can change the direction this train is moving just by thinking about it.
mangums:

It has been an honour procrastinating with you all.
  • What girls say: I'm fine
  • What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst